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He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago.
He was in Vegas for a bachelor party, and he took a girl from the blackjack table upstairs to his room. Biderman is right about types like F., but wrong that all the men on Ashley Madison want sex and sex alone.
It was partly out of curiosity, but also largely my attempt to take my mind off her." He was attracted to my fears about losing my independence. You think this is a site for sex in motels, private and dirty with condom wrappers in the folds of the sheets.
Ashley Madison's president, Noel Biderman, certainly does. "They're saying, 'I want a type of intimacy my partner's not giving me,'" he says.
Dammit, dammit, dammit."All of the men tell me that their wives would never guess they are doing this. "I've never been caught." This one has had affairs before.
He has gone home to his wife after renting a room and having sex there with another woman. is in his mid-30s and works in finance, though he wanted to be a scientist. The screen on his phone is taken up by an image of his baby daughter; he moves it aside with his thumb and forefinger to search for a book I tell him he would like. has trouble with eye contact, so he says to his water, "You're beautiful."He has never eaten caviar, so we order a flight.
A scientist poking at his marriage in a petri dish, outlining the shape of his discontent.
They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.
In the most extreme, these pronouns — to whom the men claim to be happily married — become antiheroes to the plan.
"She just canceled her dinner, so now I can't meet you on Tuesday.
It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.
When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.